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songs i didnt really want to write

by ewy

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1.
the amount of power that the government has is scaring me cuz the police just raided a climate activist art gallery but i know they'll all be congratulated and i know they'll think they deserve a rise for sitting on their ass all day shouting at other men saying here here here i wish that i was the modern day guy fawkes i'd kill em all with my 100,000 sharp steel pitch forks but its okay i'll be alright it'll be like 1799 i wish that i was the modern guy fawkes i'd make em scream 'god have so much mercy on me' well you didnt have mercy for starving kids or immigrants or health care systems that we built schools and colleges u just did it for ur own wealth so take that silver spoon from eton and find a better reason for living than leeching off of starving peoples funds cuz people quote on quote living here have been living off of baked and coffee beans so have another affair with ur wife cuz youll never have a happy life livin like that
2.
im living out of spite im talking out of spite and despite the fact i wanna move on its kinda hard to do when ur shackled by drums in your head you know its true all the people doing better than you im constantly confided in those who deny me my simple right of doing what i want to do oh im getting in your head im stealing your thunder oh what wondrous things we can do when sit down and play chess im starting to ponder what your head would like on my wall would the blood just drip drip drip fall im getting in your head im ten moves ahead you cant kill me im already dead was it meant to be like this? was it meant to be like this? how am i meant to like this?
3.
do u like what im saying? do u like the sounds coming of mouth? am i being too loud? does my voice sound too camp? but its funny how i can meet someone many years ago and still maintain a connection and laugh abt it you know you dont know how bad u fucked me up you dont know how it feels to hurt like this im shanked in my knees in my chest oh please oh it would probably be better to stop u oh leave me oh it hurts that i shock you it hurts to block you it hurts that it has to be this way stay away stay away stay away but its funny how i can meet someone many years ago and still maintain a connection and laugh abt it you know fun times like this hoppin on trains and shit doing all the things we wanted to do actin like kids ohhh how does my body look? does it contort in a direction that you probably would? ohhh how is my fucking style? is it comparable to the way i make you smile?
4.
i'll be like my soul, i'll be liven the life, i'll be like the moon, i'll be underneath you i'll be under the sun, in the garden getting high in the late afternoon what you say, what do u mean? people relating to me, parasocially all my friends empty ive convinced myself too borin ive been shelved wake up to a moral obligation to act a certain way i did this to myself but its not goin away ive tried, oh ive tried to not write anymore songs about you, but if its not in my mind initially, it raised up subconsciously cuz i know youd love that i know youll writhe in it seein me seeth over pining over what we couldve been right? cuz i know youd love that i know youll writhe in it seein me seeth over pining over what we couldve been right? what we couldve been right? my eyes, theyre growing flowers thorns through my veins everything i do is vain grass through the smalls of my legs moss on my teeth i am becoming one again fo le mi my eyes cant see ur face i think that u are pretty fo le mi my eyes cant see ur hands mine are twisted up vines fo le mi my eyes cant see ur stare my heart can it goes bah dah dah dah dum
5.
i talk to you like it hasnt affected me like it didnt rip a scar, directly between my knees but i dont hate you, i just dont want you to worry i didnt wanna fuck up any kinda thing that you had goin i know that it was probably a blip to you its easy to laugh about all the things that you already have poppy seeds and white roses the glint of light refracting off the sheets so here i am behind the looking glass seeing how life couldve been but for one night i feel safety and warmth but god knows, it was never meant to be some things are never meant to be

about

the result of a shitty breakup and me getting mad over capitalism and failure

credits

released October 8, 2021

bertie kirkwood - piano
ewan mackinnon - everything else

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all rights reserved

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about

ewy Leeds, UK

ewy is a singer-songwriter from york, uk and is currently based in leeds. they make aggressively vulnerable songs

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